It’s a no-brainer to say that it can get really hard to make new acquaintances and friends as you age—anyone you meet never seems like they’ll be as close as the friends you made in your teens and 20s.

Then there’s the pandemic social hangover—a false belief that nobody wants to be bothered and would rather be left alone to doomscroll and bedrot.

Social aspects about joining a gym can also be tricky. Especially one that’s group-based, it can be just as intimidating as doing your first workout.

Walking in solo, not knowing anyone, and feeling like everyone else already has their people adds to the stress and awkwardness.

That’s valid, and you’re not the only one.

So if you are someone who plans their escape before going to a social event, if your hands clam up when a smiling stranger makes eye contact, or if you are the lady in our Onion-style piece, then this (and BOMB) is for you…

1) Keep showing up at the same time

Often you can feel forced to start networking and to introduce yourself from the beginning. However, you don’t need to say anything at first. You're not failing at socializing if your first week is quiet.

Simply try and attend the same class, at the same time slot, and you’ll start to see the same faces. It’s getting familiar with people without much effort.

Just like keeping a fixed workout schedule makes fitnessing easier, it makes creating friendships easier too, to the point where you can start to naturally open up over time.

(Kids call this “parallel play.")

2) Use the coach as a social crutch

Coaches are contractually obligated to talk to you 😊

Ask them a silly question about the move. Make a face when they add a Finisher at the end. Let them clock your name—because once a coach knows you, they'll say it out loud ("Nice work, Priya!"), and just like that you're not a stranger anymore.

Coaches are also the unofficial matchmakers of the room. They notice things—that you and the person next to you are both new parents running on the same four hours of sleep—and they'll say something like, "You two should talk." Let them make the introduction. That's their job. Just show up and let it happen to you.

3) Use low-stakes icebreakers

Comment on the workout ("Did anyone else's legs just give up?"). It’s okay to exaggerate.
Ask your workout partners for help ("What are we doing here again?") There are no silly questions, and our members love to help. Please bother them!

Compliment your workout partner ("I saw that weight. I have questions. Mostly 'how?'")

This isn’t meant to be an infantilizing post; more so, we want to express the importance of making friends and acquaintances as we age, and that can be really hard.

But nobody's grading how social you are in week one. Come, sweat, leave, and let it build on its own time.

Most people here didn't plan to make friends; they just kept showing up until they had some.

Have a great week!

Kevin & Victoria