The Soccer World Cup is back and this time it's in our backyard. 48 teams, three host countries (one of which is us), and a whole lot of sporting conversation you may not feel equipped to join.
Don't worry. Just like 2021 and 2022, we've got you covered. Here is BOMB's tongue-in-cheek select guide to the 2026 World Cup — by understanding every team through a fitness lens.
Ivory Coast
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = A High Box Jump
💥 Explosive potential. Capable of clearing it. Also capable of mangling their shin on the edge.
Croatia
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = That falling-apart Foam Roller in the Corner
💥 Battered. Even older than you think it is. Still somehow loosening people up when it matters.
Austria
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = A Gym You've Never Actually Been To
💥 You know it exists. You've heard good things. You've just never really thought about it much.
England
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = Hyrox
💥 A bit arrogant but compelling to watch and clearly some skill involved. Perhaps a team of individuals. The press will not stop talking about it.
Australia
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = Battle Ropes at 6 AM
💥 Aggressive, loud, chaotic, and weirdly enjoyable. Won't win but will make someone's morning miserable.
Curacao
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = An Easy Amber Class
💥 Not sure if they exist
USA
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = The Dude Who Buys All the Cool Equipment
💥 Incredible facilities. Enormous budget. Talks a big game. Rarely used.
Portugal
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = The Gymfluencer
💥 Elite aesthetic. Questionable output. Still absolutely convinced they're the main character.
Switzerland
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = The Treadmill
💥 Reliable. Consistent. Gets the job done. Nobody's raving about it, but it always works.
Netherlands
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = The Kettlebell
💥 Misunderstood for years, then everyone suddenly loves them, then the trend moves on. Currently: very much back.
Belgium
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = The Keto Diet
💥 Peak moment was years ago. Still shows up and makes promises. Will likely quit before the final stretch.
Haiti
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = Working out in the Winter
💥 Qualified under conditions that would have stopped most teams. Showing up is its own kind of strength.
Japan
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = The 6:10 AM Morning Workout
💥 Disciplined, consistent, and quietly doing things at a level most people don't bother with. Easy to underestimate. Dangerous to ignore.
Morocco
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = The Determined Quiet One Who Starts Outlifting Everyone
💥 They came. They worked. And at some point while no one was paying attention, they got seriously good.
Senegal
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = Farmer's Walk
💥 Tough. Physical. Relentless. The kind of thing that makes you earn every single meter.
Sweden
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = A Nordic Skier That Nobody Knows How to Use
💥 A little niche. Very effective. Needs a proper manual for success.
France
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = The Dude Who Skips Leg Day
💥 Everything up front is ridiculously good. Yet their defensive lower half remains to be seen.
Brazil
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = The 1-Rep Max Attempt
💥 The biggest lift in the room. Everyone stops to watch. And yet, somehow, they find a way to drop the bar at the worst possible moment.
Spain
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = Hippy Chocolate
💥 Beautiful. Technically perfect. Occasionally too clever for their own good and leaves you disappointed.
Scotland
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = An Industrial Fan for a Garage Gym
💥 Best fans in the world. Likely to crap out during the warranty period.
Canada 🍁
💪🏽 Fitness equivalent = The Neighbourhood Gym That's Been There the Whole Time
💥 Not the flashiest option. Not the one with the billboards. But it's yours, it shows up, and the people there will get right behind you.
Go Canada. Let's bring it home.
Kevin & Victoria
P.S. If the World Cup has you retreating to the couch for the next month, we get it, but come hide at BOMB between games. You can try us out with a no-commitment 14-day trial for just $49+HST. Don't love it? We'll give 100% of your money back.
